Cock Fight
by drunkdragon
Summary: Robin and Chrom have a man-to-man talk about their respective choices in women.


Cock Fight

Having been forcefully drawn away from his desk of endless papers, Robin casually walked onto the training field. It was a welcome reprieve of sorts. He had been trapped behind it for far too long, even in a time of peace.

Looking around, he saw that the field was almost empty. Sully was there and so was Lon'qu while Frederick was making sure that all the training weapons were in proper shape, but the rest of the Shepherds had yet to come out.

"Glad to actually see you get some sunshine," Chrom hollered from the center of the clearing. He stood in the middle of a circle, a faux arena of sorts. "I was worried you were going to turn pale."

"Paperwork is a necessary evil, it would seem," Robin answered back, stepping into the circle. "It just appears to like me."

Turning his back to him, Chrom walked towards the edge of the circle and drew out two training swords, throwing one of them to Robin. He caught the handle in the air, giving it a quick twirl before raising it to his side. "A duel, huh?"

"It was the easiest way for me to meet with you," Chrom said, holding his wooden sword with one hand.

"Can't just walk into my office anymore?" Robin chuckled.

"As king my range of responsibilities increased. This is my first time training with the Shepherds in two months. It's been long overdue."

"And you pick a duel with me," Robin playfully scoffed. "Guess I'll go first then."

He gave a quick side swing aiming at Chrom's ribs, testing the waters between the two, and as expected the blow was blocked. The lord took the chance to make his own strike, forcing Robin onto a quick defensive and making him backpedal a bit.

"I heard the news from Lissa," the lord said as they circled around each other, "Congratulations, by the way."

There were a few more Shepherds coming onto the field, many of them being drawn to the dueling circle. It was rare to see Robin and Chrom square off in a fight. "Is that why you called me out of my den?" he smiled, "Just to say good job? You're a couple months late."

"Couldn't be helped. It's the thought that counts, anyway." Chrom dashed in, bringing his sword in a downward swing, expecting it to be easily blocked. Knowing how he fought though, Robin instead dodged by weaving to the right and bringing his blade upward, forcing the lord to roll backwards to avoid the strike.

"That punch isn't gonna work, Chrom," Robin raised his blade again.

"Heh, it worked the first three times I tried it on you. I guess you can teach old dogs new tricks." Rising to his feet, Chrom faced off against the tactician again. "So, Cordelia, huh Robin?"

"What about her?"

"What drew you to her?" the two started circling again.

"What drew you to Sumia?" Robin shot back.

Chrom dashed in, a fierce blow coming from his side and he strained to block it. "I asked first," Chrom said darkly.

Raising his leg, he pushed Chrom back and forced him off balance before giving a swipe against Chrom's thigh. "I hit you first," Robin smirked. A quick glance around him let him know that even more Shepherds had come, almost all spectating them now. However, the two pegasus knights in question had not appeared yet.

This made it more or less safe for him to question without restraint. "So tell me. Was it her breasts?"

"What type of question is that?" Chrom shot back, a playful sneer on his face.

"You can be honest with me. Do you like her boobs?"

The lord ran in, bringing his sword down hard from above. Sidestepping once more, Robin was this time forced to block an upcoming swing. His arm trembled from the strike and before he could retaliate he felt a quick tap of wood against his shoulder.

"Hmph," he scoffed, still smiling. "I'll take that as a yes."

"Your turn. What do you like about Cordelia?"

"Her hair," he half-lied.

Chrom saw right through it. "Really now." It was more of a statement than a question. "No need to hide anything."

Taking another walk around the circle, eyes never leaving Chrom, he saw long red hair and knew that the two riders had finally come to watch. Sumia appeared to be cheering for her husband while Cordelia merely stared at him, a quick smirk and a nod passing a silent message to him.

_Don't lose._

"Let's say I can get away with touching it in public."

The two circled each other, both of them clearly knowing that they were being watched by their respective partners.

"Kick his ass, Chrom!"

"Only Teach has the right to beat Chrom, but I suppose I can give it to you for today!"

Gaius stood on a box before bellowing. "Taking bets! I accept gold and pastries!"

A raucous crowd was beginning to form and the two in the center could feel the eyes upon them.

"It's quite a coincidence, you know?" Chrom finally spoke, breaking the silence between the two of them. The crowd died down a little to better hear the words.

"How so?"

"Best friends falling in love with another pair of best friends. Pegasus knights, too."

"I suppose," Robin dashed in but was quickly repelled by a swifter strike, forced to block and reevaluate his approach.

"I know you broke your door down," Chrom smirked. "As happy as I am for you, that's not exactly something I can just look past."

Robin felt his eyebrows rise. "Who told you that?"

"Some of the servant staff heard a strange tapping coming from your hallway, so I had Gaius figure out what was going on."

Hmph. Caught. "It was worth it, and unlike Sumia, Cordelia knows the difference between a slap and a punch."

"So you won't mind if it comes out of your pay, then?"

"You forget who it is that signs the payment sheets." It was a setback, but it was worth it. "Of course I'm okay with that."

"Even the paperwork?"

"I'll deal with it tomorrow. For all I care you've given me the equivalent of a day off. That is the last thing I want to think about right now."

As if directed by an internal clock only the two of them shared, they dashed at each other. Favoring his strength, Chrom swung downward, aiming for where his neck would be. For a moment, Robin thought to dodge away, but at the last moment hesitated and changed the way he swung. The crowd went silent, waiting for the clash to occur.

Both stopped short of severely hurting the other.

"Got your neck." Chrom said with a smile, tapping the flat of the blade on his shoulder.

"Yeah, well…" with a light upward tap at the seat of his pants, the lord's smile quickly faded.

"Got your balls," Robin said with a smirk. The crowd broke out into cheer and he stepped away, planting the tip of the sword into the ground.

"... Any reason why I shouldn't punch you right now?"

"Just play along, Chrom." Walking away from his dumbstruck friend, he bee lined for Cordelia, who could only stare at him, trying to discern his actions. When he got close she finally spoke.

"I don't know who won or lost that match," she conceded.

Snaking his arms around her, he leaned forward on one leg, pulling her back and downward into a dip. Her squeak was quickly silenced by a kiss on the lips and the Shepherds yelled and catcalled. When he brought her back up, a burning blush was on her face.

"I think we both came out as winners."

Then, he raised the hand from behind her a little before bringing it down on her rear.

_Thwap_

Cordelia's eyes widened. The outburst of laughs was deafening.

"W-What was that for?" she tried to yell at him, "Everyone was watching!" absolutely mortified, her eyes smoldered against him in panicked anger.

"Just making a point to Chrom. Have to stake my claim, after all."

She slapped his chest. "Stake your claim? You-" He gave her another quick kiss, but she hit him again. "I'm not done talking yet! Listen to me!"

"Well," he backed away and smiled at her, "better catch your scoundrel first, Cordy."

* * *

Chrom stared as, after nearly running Cordelia ragged, Robin scooped up her tired form. As he walked towards the nearest bench, she gently hit his shoulder. The man chuckled before sitting down and placing her in his lap, giving her a soft kiss on the lips.

Sumia walked to his side. "Are you okay, dear? You haven't done any training at all since your little duel."

He took a deep breath. "A little annoyed, but otherwise in good spirits." And horny. Almost losing his balls suddenly made him want to use it.

He felt his mind churning. "I have to say, though, our little duel has put quite a thought upon the forefront of my mind."

"Oh? What are you thinking of, dear?"

He looked at Sumia and gave her a knowing smirk, saying nothing. One of his arms snaked around her before resting at her waist.

Judging by the red on her cheeks and how she looked away, she got the picture.

"But now? I-Is it okay though?" she cautiously said, "I mean, you called everyone here."

"We're the king and queen, Sumia," he said to her before quickly dragging her off. "We're pretty much expected to abuse power to fool around with each other every now and then."

* * *

A/N: Wellp, there's that bonus chapter I was talking about. I had plans to include this in _Letters for Cordy_, but in the end decided against it. It felt like it was just breaking the tone of that story. This little piece came out a bit longer than I expected it to be, but no real issue with that.

Still, this was done pretty fast. Another case of successful planning. I threw in that last segment with Chrom and Sumia as I was writing it though. I figured I should give the two a break. While ChromxSumia isn't really OTP status for me, I certainly do enjoy the pairing.

I plan to put out one more bonus chapter for this particular series, though I don't know if that will be the next piece I put up. We'll see when it shows it decides to show its face.

I do not own Fire Emblem and I appreciate all comments and criticism.

See you all soon!


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